Forgive?

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I love being single. 

I love it. 

Never have I felt so stable with who I am. 

To enjoy this. 

 

I used to seek attention…I wanted male attention. I would take almost any kind. I like it, as any girl does. But this time…I respect it. I respect the boys who flirt. Who put effort into complimenting you. I don’t feel the need to rush into anything…friendship or relationship. I am happy. 

Can we all take a moment. Take one moment to be happy. 

I realize family is important. So are friends. And right now, all I want, is to get to know more people. Have better memories with those people who are less likely to walk in and out of your life. 

I respect how things happened. Bad, yes. Forgiving? Not yet. But maybe one day. I respect myself because of what has happened. I know what I want. I know it. 

I want to listen to stories. I want to study. I want to ride a bike. I want to travel with friends. I want to be there for my niece. I want to be a role model. I want to tell my parents I love them everyday for as long as they live. I want to be a better person. 

It took a really bad moment to take me to where I am now. I feel the bags under my eyes. I hear myself complaining often. I need to think positive. I need to be happy. I know I can be. 

I am my own role model. I want to be the best me. One day, I will forgive. I know it. Because it leads to a better me. I will forgive because I owe it to myself. Because having hate in my heart leaves no room for happiness. 

 

Here’s to throwing away that hate….one day at a time. 

I want to cry. 

Instead I’ll smile. 

 

A. 

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