I miss him. Lots.
I’m not sure if I miss the now or the past. Not sure if I miss the memories or the future endeavors together. All I know is I miss him.
You can’t dwell on it. You can’t over-think and still be healthy. You just get used to it, the feelings of missing someone.
Or at least…you tell yourself to get used to it. You go out with friends to keep from missing them. You constantly worry that you’re not enough, that the efforts not worth it, that it’s going to end. And then you crawl out of bed, shower, and as the day moves on, so do you. You stop worrying, up until you lay back down under those sheets.
Anxiety. Long distance is half love, half fear. It makes you or breaks you. You may fight…but you’ll never really know if it’s because of the distance or the relationship. You may annoy each other with sappy texts or phone calls often, but things get monotonous when your time together is limited. You just realize the importance of that phone, or of the Internet. You respect technology for letting you stay happy just a little bit longer.
I miss him. All of him. Especially his smile.
And all I can hope, is he misses me to.